{Day 11} Mom-Jeans and Miniskirts: What's a Real Mom to Wear?

{A rare photo of me, the mom photographer in rumpled jeans and non-fashionable sneakers,  on a recent family trip to the apple orchard. }

When I was a teenager I said that I would always dress like one. I swore that when I was a grown-up and a mom, I'd still wear mini-skirts and shop at Benetton and the Esprit store. 

Well, I am now both a grown-up and a mom. I do not wear mini-skirts. And I'm pretty sure I have not sported an Esprit or Benetton label since 1992. 

My youthful self could not have known that women my age who dress like teenagers would be called Cougars {and not in a school-mascot kind of way.}. 

Realistically, there may not be a teenager on the planet who possesses the sensibilities that come with age. I was no exception. 

I'm pretty sure that I wasn't so much obsessed with the eternal mini-skirt; I just didn't want to look matronly. I also didn't want to drive a mini-van, wear mom-jeans, or look the part of a grown-up. 

Looking young and hip seemed cool. Looking old and mom-ish was unthinkable.

I'll be 40 in a year and a half. As I write this I'm wearing khakis, gray and purple sneakers, and a sweatshirt. If my 16-year-old self could see me now, she'd die of shame and tell me to at least tight-roll my pants. 

She also wouldn't be caught dead driving the Toyota Sienna that's parked in my garage.

But as much as I'm tempted to roll my eyes and shush that naive 16-year-old, she speaks loud and clear every time I stare blank-faced at my closet. Because here's the thing: I still don't want to look too much like a stereotypical mom I picture in my head...even though I am one.

I know that sounds terrible. Truly, I consider stretch-marks to be a badge of honor and I actually like those parentheses around my mouth that a dermatologist would want to fill with Botox. Evidence of nearly 40 years of smiling? I think that's a good thing.

But I often struggle to look stylish and appropriate without fearing that I look either too youthful or too old. I no longer shop in the Juniors department but I'm not sure what "Misses" means either.

Also? The idea of synthetic fabrics now makes me feel itchy. And I've developed an aversion to most patterns. 

But here's the real clincher. I now look at outfits and say, Oh, that looks comfortable instead of saying, Oh, that looks cute!

Before you know it I'll be sporting SAS shoes and a rain bonnet. 

New seasons always make me crave a few new pieces. But as I surveyed my wardrobe this fall, I had an identity crisis. I desperately wanted to get some things but I wanted to be smart about it.

Thank goodness Pinterest came into my life. So did Tiny Twig's 31 Days to a No-Brainer Wardrobe. {If you're feeling at all like me, you should check out her fun and doable series.}

As I pinned outfits I liked and assessed the types of things I always reach for in my schizophrenic closet, I noticed common themes: solid neutrals, stripes or vintage patterns, and pops of color in accessories. 

As much as I'd love to be the poster child for Anthropologie, I'm really a Gap kind of girl through and through. It explains why I've worn a jean jacket every year of my life since the 8th grade. 

I've wasted a decent amount of time and money on things that don't fit my lifestyle or my true style. I'd like to reverse that trend.

Being realistic with my wardrobe doesn't mean I've given up. Unlike George Costanza, I am not committing to sweat pants ever after. In many ways, it means I've finally accepted who I really am instead of trying to dress like someone who doesn't live my life {complete with PB & J smears} or trying to reinvent myself into someone who doesn't shop in my closet {a NYC celebrity}.

Today I enjoyed a couple of precious hours to go shopping. Don't be too jealous. I went to two Goodwills and a discount clothing store. 

Sometimes I'm a bit overwhelmed by the sheer volume of crazy cast-offs. And sometimes I relapse into rayon and then never wear it. But today I was able to zero in on things that I think I'll reach for time and again. They are easy, comfy, and very mix and match. And I didn't even try on anything that duplicated something I already had.  

It was freeing to put my new-found methods into practice. 

Gasp, I sound as if I'm shopping like a sensible grown-up.

I've begun a major closet purge and I'm excited to have fewer but truer pieces. 

It's not what my inner 16-year-old's closet would look like. Thank goodness. But I don't think she's totally rolling her eyes either.

What are your tried and true, go-to pieces? 

{Click on the button for the list of all the days 

& topics thus far.}