{Day 22} A Real "Disorder" {sort of}: Reading Guilt

Life is too short to read stuff you don't want to read. 

I toiled away for four years as a graduate student studying American history. I read more books and journal articles than I can remember. Obviously I loved history and I loved much of what I read. And what I didn't love? I had to plow through anyway. 

I learned to read really quickly. So quickly, in fact, that on the rare occasion I was able to read solely for pleasure, I'd fly through the pages out of habit. I literally had to retrain my brain to read slowly and savor. 

Now that I no longer have assigned reading lists, I can read whatever I want. At times I've picked up a book and somewhere along the way realized I was not enjoying it. Yet guilt propelled me to finish it. Or I wouldn't finish it and I'd feel guilty about that.

I've also felt guilty that I haven't read many classics in my adult years. There are so many amazing works of literature I've never read. But the thought of reading them makes me sort of tired. 

At some point I realized that I have reading guilt. 

Just writing those words makes me laugh because "reading guilt" sounds like the most ridiculous disorder ever! 

But if you like books, there's a chance you may suffer from it too. 

How 'bout I be the one to give all of us permission to read what we want to read? A reading manifesto perhaps?

• If you are a grown-up you do not have to finish a book if you don't like it.

• You shouldn't read a book just because everyone else is reading it. That's just literary peer pressure. 

• If you get mid-way through a book and it's positively loathsome, you're allowed to quit. Even if everyone else you know loved the book.

• You have permission to read multiple books at once depending on your mood. I usually have a stack on my nightstand of 5-7 books. It results in an embarrassingly low completion rate but the variety is nice.

• If you love to read but your books haven't been touched in weeks because your brain is tired and TV is therefore easier, that's okay too. {Homeschooling and having young children has completely sapped the endurance from my brain.}

Good. I'm glad we've gotten that out of the way.

I still love books. The smell of Barnes and Noble is like a drug for me. If I ever worked retail, it would be in a book store. I want to read more books than I will ever actually read. But even something one loves can become burdensome. I don't think there's any area of our lives that grace doesn't need to touch. Reading included.

So what about you? Do you ever suffer from reading guilt? Are there any proclamations you would add to the reading manifesto?

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